A Soap by any other name
by Wissam
Summary: What happens when two SAS troopers meet a Time Lord and his companion? Well I don't know, but I also wrote this so maybe you should read it.
1. Contact

**It's worth nothing I've taken some liberties with the time lines. This is the Tenth Doctor, sometime in series 2, probably before the Cybermen stuff. Regarding Call of Duty, I've gone on the assumption that Price and Soap returned to Britain after the events of Modern Warfare, and that this takes place in the five years between then and Modern Warfare 2. **

"About half a kilometre to the contact point, Captain."  
"Roger that," came the reply, "We've no intel on codename TL, we don't know what he looks like, what he's offering, where he's from – hell, we're only assuming he's male. Keep a sharp lookout and follow my lead."  
"Aye, Captain."  
The two men began their ascent up the next cliff face, the captain leading the way. By the time they reached the top, they were visibly exhausted and getting out of breath, but the captain, a much older man sporting a thick moustache, lit a cigar and took a deep pull.  
"Filthy habit, Soap, I should really give it up. Not as young as I used to be."  
"Ah, you only live once, sir," Soap replied, "In our line of work, you gotta take every little pleasure you can."  
"That's the truth," the captain agreed. He took another pull on his cigar, and looked thoughtful, "Half a kilometre from here is nothing but open tundra. There's no city for thousands of miles – the nearest village is two hundred and seventy miles. Who would arrange a meeting out here?"  
"I guess that's what we're going to find out, sir."  
"And on that note, let's move, shall we?" the captain said, "Progress won't be quick in this blizzard. Follow me."  
The two men made the distance in good time, but it wasn't until they were less than fifty metres from the meeting point that visibility allowed them to see their contact.  
"Sergeant, can you see it too?" asked the puzzled captain.  
"Aye, sir." came the reply. Soap was looking down the scope of his rifle at the strange thing, "Looks like a blue box, wooden. What's a 'Police Box?'"  
"What's it doing out here? And why's it in English?" The captain was intensely alert. "Move up, keep an eye out for movement and fix your sights on that box. I don't like this at all."  
The box was about a metre square at the base, and roughly 3 metres tall, with what looked like a blue light on the top. It did indeed seem to be made of wood, and each side had two windows in the panels, at about head-height. It stuck out like a sore thumb against the bleak, white landscape, at the top of this mountain. The captain ordered the other man to look inside, but he couldn't open the door.  
"Seems to be locked, Price. What the hell's going on?" he exclaimed.  
Captain Price paused. "I don't know, Soap. There's nothing else out here and it's not like we've got any other leads." He looked at the box. "Have you tried knocking?"  
"What?"  
"Knock on the door."  
"Right," Soap muttered, not apparently convinced that this was a clever idea. Tentatively, he rapped on the door of the Police Box and stepped back. There was a rattling from behind the door, and the two soldiers raised their rifles at it and stood, motionless. It opened and a tall, thin man stepped out, wearing nothing more than a suit and a long coat. It was twenty degrees below. He looked at the two men in puzzlement, then grinned widely.  
"Hello, you must be the UNIT boys, pleased to meet you. Do come inside, it's rather chilly out here!" he said, approaching the soldiers.  
"Stay back!" Price barked, "Identify yourself!"  
The man paused.  
"Sorry, yes, of course, I'm the Doctor. Could you put the guns away, I really don't like guns?"  
Soap and Price shared a glance.  
"I don't think so," said the captain, "Where's TL? Give the detection phrase!"  
"We're warning you," Soap added, "Identify yourself or we will fire."  
"Yes," said the man, apparently unconcerned, "The silent owl flies past the windmill. Now can you please put those guns away? Sorry, what were your names again?"  
Price lowered his rifle, but his sergeant kept his aimed at the strange man.  
"But the bats stay hidden in the barn," he replied, "Who the hell are you and why did Colonel Mace send us a thousand miles into the middle of nowhere to meet you?"  
"I quite want to know what he was doing in that box," said Soap.  
"Oh, a Scottish lad!" the tall man said with a large smile, "Don't meet many of them really. Love the Scots. Strange food though. Lots of frying."  
"Look, TL," growled Price impatiently, "I've had just about enough of this. Either you tell us why a UNIT colonel had us sent out here to deal with your bloody games or I'll shoot you right now. Talk!"  
"No, I told you, it's the Doctor. That's my name!"  
"Doctor what?" the two soldiers asked in unison.  
"Just the Doctor. Do you mind if I bring my associate out here? Only she'd love to meet you. Only...can you please put the guns down, I don't want to ask again."  
"Lower your weapon, sergeant," ordered Price, "I don't think we're gonna get anywhere with this guy by threatening him."  
The man stuck his head inside the door and called "Rose!" He shouted as though the person he was beckoning was a distance away, as if in a different room, though the other person couldn't have been more than a couple of feet inside the box. After a few seconds, a second person stepped out of the box, wearing clothes more appropriate for the climate – furs, hats, scarves. It was hard to tell underneath all of the clothing, but they seemed to be a girl, probably early twenties, if not younger. When she spoke, this was confirmed.  
"Doctor, are we gonna be here long?" she said, her voice muffled by the wind and scarves, "Only you promised you'd take me to see the Beatles." She looked at the soldiers, who were visibly puzzled by the "Doctor's" associate. "Gotta love a squaddy," she said with disdain.  
"Who are you two? How the bloody hell did you get out here dressed like that?" demanded Soap, his patience wearing thin.  
"More to the point, what's so special about your information that we had to trek all the way out to the middle of Siberia to get it?" Price asked aggressively. He put his hand on the grip of his rifle and walked towards the couple from the box.  
"I'd better get some fucking answers soon."  
The tall man looked serious.  
"Right, yes, of course," he said, "What I have to tell you is vitally important for the future of the entire planet. This must reach -"  
There was a wooden, splintering thud, followed by the sound of a gunshot. The girl, Rose, screamed and the tall man ducked.  
"Sniper!" Soap barked, both of the soldiers holding their guns to the ready, scanning what little they could see.  
"You two, get down now!" Price ordered to the two civilians. They leapt into the snow at their feet, but the man was apparently more concerned with with the wooden box than the danger they were all in.  
"They shot my TARDIS! With bullets! It's got a hole in it now! I don't even know if it can repair the outside any more!"  
"Shut the hell up!" Price hissed, "Stay down and stay quiet!"  
There was zip of a bullet flying past, and another gunshot.  
"Muzzle flash, seven hundred metres, ten o' clock," whispered Soap, as he aimed his rifle in the direction.  
"Get in the TARDIS!" said the "Doctor."  
"What?"  
"The blue box, get in the box!" cried the girl, and the both of them stood up and ran into the wooden box.  
"Oh, you've got to be shitting me," Soap said in disbelief. He took a shot at the sniper. "Movement, sixty yards left!"  
Price got on one knee and fired at two indistinct shapes in the snow, his carbine loud but muffled in the blizzard. One of them dropped to the ground, and the other crouched, clearly taking aim. Price shot the other one, and they also dropped.  
"We're in the shitstorm now, Soap. Baseplate, we're taking fire and we need evac now!"  
"Copy that Captain," came a voice over the radio, "Baseplate enrou – shit, I'm seeing multiple heat signatures in the snow, look like SAM sites. We're gonna have to bug out, we're dead if we stay here."  
"What? Oh, I don't believe it!" the captain said with dismay.  
"Sorry, Captain. Nothing we can do. Good luck."  
"Good luck."  
"Soap, we're on our own," he said, keeping his eyes fixed on the surrounding area, "We're gonna have to go to plan B."  
Soap grunted his acknowledgement, then, "What about those two?"  
"Those two can go to hell, we've got nothing out of them. Our main priority is to exfil the area safely."  
"Come on you two!" came a voice from behind them, "Are you going to stay out here all day? Get inside now!"  
"Are you insane?" hissed Price.  
"Get in! Trust me, it's safer than out here," he said, beckoning them into the box.  
The soldiers looked at each other.  
"Looks like we don't have much choice." Soap admitted. Price followed the man into the box, and Soap, taking one last look around, went in too.  
"What the bloody hell..."

**I have a vague idea where I want to take this, but don't expect regular updates or anything. If anyone is interested, in my mind, Price is armed with an L119A1 UGL, and Soap is armed with an HK417**


	2. Confusion

The two soldiers stood in shock, staring at the box's interior, all danger from the outside seemingly forgotten. Whilst the outside of the box was only slightly larger than a man, the inside was a huge room, with a central console and weird, organic looking columns and beams spread around. There were walkways leading out from this area, giving the impression that there were even more rooms out of sight. This impossibility was apparently meaningless to the man and girl, now dressed normally, moving quickly around the central panels of the room.  
"What the hell is this?" whispered Price. He and Soap shared a glance, and they both seemed to return to their wits. Sighting their rifles at Rose and the Doctor, they edged to the door.  
"I don't know what this...place is, but we're leaving, and you two are coming with us," ordered Price, "Now."  
"I wouldn't if I were you," warned the Doctor, almost genially, "You of all people should know it's not safe out there."  
"At least I know what's out there," replied Soap, "I don't like this box at all. Now, out!"  
"But we're completely safe in here," the girl said, "You can risk your life out there, or.."  
"Or, we can take you back home!" finished the Doctor.  
"What in God's name are you talking about?" Price shouted.  
"Listen to me," said the Doctor, "Either, you can go out there, risk your lives against the people shooting at you, climb down those mountains, try and survive against that blizzard, and maybe, maybe make it back home alive, _or_, you can some with me and Rose, and we'll take you straight back home," he looked at them openly, "Your choice."  
There was a lengthy pause. Soap looked at his captain, waiting for his decision. Price, confused and torn between his orders and he and his sergeants' lives, lowered his gun and slung it behind his back. With a glance and a virtually unnoticeable hand gesture at Soap, in one single movement he grabbed the Doctor, turned him round and shoved him up against the console, arm locked behind his back. At the same time, Soap had moved up to the girl and forced her to her knees, the muzzle of his rifle aimed at her back, right at her heart.  
The Doctor, struggling in the soldier's unbreakable lock, shouted at Soap to let Rose go, but he didn't budge.  
"Now you shut up and listen to me," Price hissed in the man's ear, twisting his arm and causing considerable pain, "I don't know who you are, why you're here. We're sent out to the middle of the Arctic to speak to you, you're dressed like you don't care where you are. You give us a load of rubbish about being a doctor, you play these fucking games with us. Then, people start shooting at us, and you lead us inside this...this...impossible box. We have a word for that in the military. It's "trap". Now, you'd better start explaining, _right, now, _what, who and why you are here, or your girlfriend there will be leaving in a body-bag!"  
"She's not my girlfriend!"  
"I don't care!" Price shouted.  
"Ok! Ok, let me go, and I'll tell you everything," the man offered, "I promise!"  
Price cautiously let him go, bringing his rifle back round to bear on the man. "Soap, use your thermals, check outside and see if the hostiles are joining our little party."  
Soap, still facing the two strangers, moved to the door. Rose, meanwhile, got up and ran over to the Doctor.  
"Captain, know that everything I am about to tell you is absolutely true. It may seem ridiculous, maybe even a little bit scary, but trust me, it's all true. My name is the Doctor. I'm an alien, a Time Lord. The last of the Time Lords. This," he gestured towards the girl, "is Rose. She's just my companion. We travel the universe together, and time."  
"They're moving slowly, but they're getting closer Captain," came Soap's voice from the door. Price looked like he didn't believe a word of the Doctor's explanation, but he let him continue.  
"This box is my spaceship. Well, I say mine, really it's...well...that's not important right now. It's called a TARDIS, that's short for Time And Relative Dimension In Space. It can go anywhere you want. Anywhere, or anytime."  
"Give or take a few years..." muttered Rose, still nursing herself from her rough handling.  
"Ok, so it's not perfect," retorted the Doctor, "but it's real! I know it must seem so unreal, but why else would UNIT have sent you here? I have a very important message for them, they need to know what I've seen, what's happening out there right now. The very future of this planet is in danger, but I couldn't tell them myself. I had wanted you to tell them for me, I didn't think I could let myself be seen on Earth but, judging by the events of outside, I'd say they know I'm here, so let's go, shall we?" he was lively and animated all of a sudden, but noticing Price's expression, he simmered down.  
"Look, you can not believe me, I accept that, but what other choice do you have? What other explanation is there? Those aren't people out there, captain, they're some of the deadliest and most vicious creatures the universe has ever known. You won't be able to get past them. Trying to do so would be suicide, and I'd be going against everything I stand for if I sent you to your deaths. Come with us."  
Price lowered his gun.  
"I don't believe you, Doctor. I don't believe a word of it. But Sergeant Soap and I have got more important things to worry about right now than you. Now, how do you propose we escape?"  
The Doctor grinned. "I was hoping you would ask. Rose! Allons-y!" The two of them started moving around the console, pressing buttons and moving levers.  
"Soap, get over here," the captain ordered, "Doctor! How are we going to get out of here?"  
"Oh, just you watch!" the man, with a grin and a flick or his head, laughed triumphantly. He yanked a lever down, and the entire room started shaking and vibrating. Pipes in a cylinder leading up out of the console rose and fell, and there was a grinding, creaking, screaming noise emanating from the very air. High pitched whines and wails punctuated the other noises and, not soon enough for the two, suddenly terrified, soldiers, everything stopped with a _thunk_. Price and Soap had to grab onto railings to get their balance and recover, but the man and the girl seemed to have no problem with the bizarre occurrence and strolled towards the door.

"What...what was that?" groaned Soap.  
"Oh, just your standard spatial de-materialisation and re-materialisation!" said the Doctor, as though this were perfectly obvious.  
Rose looked back at them and began, "What he means is that it disappears.."  
"It disappears where we were and it reappears somewhere else," finished Soap. "We're not idiots, we know what it means. It's a load of rubbish mind."  
"Alright, just trying to help," she said, affronted.  
"Come on!" cried the Doctor, "We're at UNIT base. Hopefully Colonel Mace will be a little more understanding than you two, hmm?" With that, he opened the TARDIS door and walked out, followed by Rose. This left the two soldiers alone in the box, entirely confused and mystified.  
"Shall we follow them, sir?" asked Soap.  
"I think so. I don't really think there's anything else we can do. Either we're going back out into the tundra, and we're in the same situation we were before, or, and I don't believe this for a second, we're back in England, in home territory, on a military base, and we just travelled several thousand miles in a few seconds."  
"Well," said the sergeant, beginning to grin, "Let's go find out!"  
Weapons at the ready, and alert for potential danger, the two troops opened the door, and stepped out into an overcast, slightly damp, but nonetheless English day. In front of them were the Doctor and Colonel Mace, in deep discussion, with Rose standing some way from them. Price and Soap, overcoming their initial disbelief, immediately stood to attention, Price saluting the superior officer. He broke away from his conversation with the Doctor, and returned the salute.  
"Captain Price, Sergeant MacTavish, stand easy," he greeted them, "When I sent you to meet the Doctor, I wasn't expecting you to bring him back with you. I have to admit, I'm a little surprised by your method of return."  
"Ah, I can explain!" interjected the Doctor, "I thought that my TARDIS wouldn't be detected in Siberia, and I didn't want them to suspect my involvement yet...I was wrong. We were attacked, and I figured that, having been discovered already, I might as well come straight here."  
"I see. Well, I'll need you to come with me, sir, if we're to adequately defend ourselves."  
"Of course, lead on Colonel. Rose, stay here and...mingle," the Doctor suggested to her, vaguely gesturing towards the two soldiers. In the few minutes since he had been forced up against the console, the Doctor seemed to have forgiven all they had done to him and moved on. Rose, on the other hand, didn't appear so lenient. There was a tense silence.  
"Well, this is bloody awkward," snorted Price, pulling out a cigar and lighting it.  
"I suppose I should apologise for earlier," Soap said, somewhat mumbling. He looked like he wasn't used to apologising for things, "I was just doing what we're trained to do."  
"You're about right you should apologise!" she replied impertinently.  
"I'm sorry. You must have been as confused as we were when you first met that Doctor...or are you an alien too?"  
"No, I'm as human as you are. Born and bred in London!"  
"Right, well," interrupted Price, "as touchingly sentimental as this is, I'd say it's going to rain soon enough, so what do you say we get inside, hmm?"  
"Right," agreed Soap. He motioned toward the blue box, "What about that thing?"  
"Oh, don't you worry about that," said Rose, becoming considerably more chirpy than before, "You'd be amazed what it's been through. A bit of rain is nothing really."  
With puzzled looks back at the apparent spaceship, the two men and the girl walked and, as the rain began to fall, ran towards the officer's mess.  
And, ten million miles away, through the darkness of space, alien eyes watched them.

**As before, any comment and criticism is welcome. Dunno when I might update again. **


	3. Congression

Rose and and two soldiers made their way to the officers' mess, rain plastering their clothes and faces. Happy to be in the warm, they made their way to a table and did their best to dry themselves off. As Soap and Rose sat down, Price asked  
"Tea? Tea?"  
"Aye, just the ticket," the sergeant replied, and Rose nodded her agreement. Sitting down, she noticed that she was getting strange, disapproving looks from the men at the other tables. She asked why.  
"Well, you're on a military base dressed like you've just come from the shops, in an officers' mess! You're about as out-of-place as you can get."  
She laughed. "You've no idea...some of the places I've been, this is almost homely."  
"I don't understand," Soap replied, "_Who_ are you two? This whole thing is way over my head. I mean, teleporting boxes? And did he say time-travel?"  
"You really wanna know?" asked Rose, "You'll never believe me.."  
As Price sat down with the teas, and Soap urged her onwards, the girl rolled her eyes and began  
"Alright, it all started when..."

"Our presence is known. We are no longer secret. We must begin sooner than anticipated."  
Heads rose in the darkness. Eyes lit up.  
"It is...regrettable."

"You've seen the end of the world." stated Price, bluntly, "and you were on that spaceship over London? Did you have anything to do with those Cybermen and the Daleks?"  
"What? How do you know about those last two? They weren't even on this planet!" Rose stuttered.  
Price and Soap looked at each other confused "You could hardly miss them."  
Rose's eyes widened and she spoke urgently, "Sometimes things don't happen in the right order! Time-traveller, remember? Don't tell me about anything after Two Thousand and Six!"  
The soldiers laughed. As they carried on discussing the Doctor, and Rose, and their travels in time and space, a soldier ran up to the table, and informed the captain that his presence was required in mission control. Price finished his tea, and winked at the two sitting down, saying,  
"Play nice, you two," and left with the soldier.  
Soap and Rose looked at each other.  
"So what's going on that's so urgent? Did the Doctor tell you?" inquired Soap, "Are you allowed to tell me?"  
"Well.."

Klaxons sounded in deep holds, and engines were brought to life.  
"Are we suitably prepared?"  
Yellow eyes dimmed briefly, and brightened.  
"Twenty percent of our forces are awake and prepared. Forty percent will be awake within thirty hours. Forty percent can be awakened within two hundred hours."  
Different eyes brew brighter, then dimmed.  
"It is acceptable."  
A button was pressed, and machinery began to move.

"So you don't know any more than I do."  
"Not really," Rose looked saddened, and stared into the distance, "It's the first time he hasn't told me what's going on."  
"Great. Well, if you're worried, I _definitely_ should be." He smiled at Rose's confused look. "You can see the end of the world and joke about it, and this scares you? Doesn't sound good."  
She chuckled, and sighed.  
"Well, I'm sure you've seen your fair share of things," she replied, "What about you, mm? What's your story? Any brave and daring adventures from you?"  
"Oh, every day!" joked Soap, "rescuing damsels in distress, saving the world, stopping the bad guy. All in a day's work. Mind you, I've never saved Queen Victoria from a werewolf."  
He smiled faintly, as though remembering a memory long past. "I dunno. It's not a nice job, what I do. I've killed people. I've done things most people would never believe, never dream. I suppose I'm what you'd call a natural soldier."  
She reached over and put her hand on his.  
"You seem sad about it..."  
"Ah, a job's a job, right?" he pulled his hand out and scratched the back of his head. "It's just what I do."  
Rose looked almost affronted. She sat up and took a deep gulp form her tea. "So, is your name really Soap?"  
"Hah! No, that's just a nickname. God knows how I got it, I can't even remember anymore. No, my name's John. Don't ask for my surname, you're not getting it. And you? Rose, right?"  
"Yeah, Rose Tyler," she replied, putting emphasis on the last word. She was about to carry on speaking, when Price strode into the room. He slapped Soap on the back, half-pulled him out of his chair, and looked at Rose.  
"Alright, you two, date's over. Soap, we have business to attend to. It's not pretty. And you're not going to believe what I've got to tell you."  
"No rest for the wicked, sir?"  
"No rest at all."

"We have identified the source of our discovery."  
Screens lit up, illuminating metal surfaces and armoured limbs.  
"He is known as the Doctor."  
Two sets of eyes brightened, as if in realisation.  
"He has a time machine. It is called a TARDIS."  
More eyes shone brighter this time, and a sense of urgency descended on the room.  
"What threat does a healer pose to our great army?"  
"Doctor is a mere affectation. This is no mere healer."  
The eyes which were still dim lightened ever so slightly.  
"He is a son of Gallifrey."  
The room burned in the light.

"Well, good bye I guess, Rose," Soap offered out his hand to her, which she took.  
"Hopefully we'll see each other again!" she said, smiling, "You go off, I'm sure something important's going on. Tell the Doctor I'll be in the TARDIS."  
"I'd get back to it quickly, girl, and fly away as far as you can." Price told her, his face giving her the chills. On a man of such obvious experience, to see him rattled like this would have worried anyone, and Soap was clearly concerned as well. Rose frowned, but rallied against her fear and exclaimed,  
"If you think I'm going to run away, you've got another thing coming mister! If there's something bad going on, the Doctor will want to see me, so I'm coming with you, alright?"  
Price was obviously taken aback, but he said  
"Whatever, I don't have the time to argue. Come along, but we're leaving now."

"Doctor!" Rose shouted with relief, "What's going on, people are running around, it's like they're getting ready to fight."  
"Rose," the Doctor said in a steady voice, "you need to leave now. I'm going to take you back to your mother, and I want you to stay there until I come back. Rose, I need you to do this for me. Please."  
She gave him a look which suggested this were the last thing she would do, and told him,  
"Uh, I don't think so, Doctor. If something's happening, I want to know about it. Got that?"  
There was a tense moment, and the two soldiers weren't sure of what his reaction would be. But then he grinned, flicked his head and exclaimed,  
"Oh yes, that's the Rose Tyler I know. Never runs away from a fight. Did she tell you," he said, addressing Soap and Price, "that she saved the whole world from a Dalek invasion? It's true."  
He looked at her, and the two grinned.  
"Now come on!" he shouted at them, "We've got a planet to save!" and with that, he ran out of the door.  
Rose gave a laugh, and ran after him, closely followed by the soldiers. Heading for the blue box, the 3 humans and the alien had no idea that their every movement, every word was suddenly being monitored by eyes and ears millions of miles away, ears which even now were hearing the call to war.

The warriors leapt to their feet, armour clinking against weaponry clinking against armour, fully visible in the intensity of their shining eyes.  
"Arm all soldiers!"  
"Prepare for planetfall!"  
"We are vulnerable! Emergency protocol seven!"  
Alarms sounded, magazines were loaded, shields were charged, and steam inexplicably hissed from pipes which appeared perfectly well maintained.  
All other voices were suddenly muted, and one voice spoke in the war room.  
"Generals. We must not make mistakes. Remain calm."  
The room darkened considerably as eyes dimmed once again, though they remained standing.  
"The Time Lord does not spell the end of our invasion. He is fallible. He is conquerable. He is mortal. The time of the Melkari will come. This is our finest hour. We continue as planned."  
A voice replied from the darkness,  
"The Time Lord will uncover our operatives on Earth already. They will be lost."  
"It is...regrettable."


End file.
